Managing Up: Building a Better Relationship with your Manager

Creating a good relationship with your manager is essential. Doing so reduces stress, makes work more enjoyable, and sets everyone up for success. Managing up is a great way to improve your relationship, but what do we mean by “managing up” and why does it make such an important difference?

Managing up is about reciprocity. It allows you to build a relationship that means both of you can be at your best more often. When you consciously develop and maintain a positive relationship with your manager, it makes your job easier, and your manager’s job easier, which is good for your career, results and job satisfaction.

So how do we manage up?

Managing up is about building a foundation of trust, openness and honesty. When you show your manager that you can be relied upon and have their back, that foundation of trust becomes stronger. That means you have to keep your promises, or renegotiate them if you can’t keep them, and always treat them with respect. 

Truth bomb: You and your manager are equals. 

Just as you like to be recognised for who you are and what’s important to you, getting to know your manager, showing interest in who they are and finding your rhythm together is the best way to ensure your collective success.

Know them - notice their reactions and feelings, know their goals, and anticipate their needs. Learn who they are and what drives them, then notice how you can contribute to their enjoyment at work.

Support them - stand in their shoes, proactively help them to achieve their goals, provide constructive feedback and recognise their wins. Be willing to work things through with them when they need, and always treat them with kindness.

Partner with them - Establish two-way dialogue, set up regular check-ins, and be clear on how to raise and deal with issues. Invite them to provide feedback to you regularly, so they feel invested in your partnership and know you’re invested too. Show your strength through accountability.

Connect with them - Embrace the baby elephants and don’t let the unsaid hang. Admit your mistakes, agree on the non-negotiables, and talk openly about trust. Set time aside to connect often, formally and informally, and be open to giving and receiving feedback, support, and guidance.

Managing up requires that we avoid making promises we can’t keep, workplace politics, blame and judgement. It also means that we set and maintain good boundaries, and never focus on the task at the expense of the person.

The result of managing up will always be a relationship where both people are at their best more often. 

What one thing are you committing to today that will improve your relationship with your manager?